Pill Popper

Growing up I watched my Mom pop pill after pill for and reason she could come up with. I later learned pill popping was just another one of her many drug addictions. It is also the only one of her drug addictions that I actually watched her partake in. At an early age I wanted nothing to do with pills. I even had a neck injury as a child and they sent me home from the hospital with pain medicine to take. I refused to take them. At that time I looked at my Mom and her need for pills all the time as a weakness. I refused to be as weak as her!!! Up until just a few years ago I had a really hard time taking medicine for headaches and colds. I would gladly suffer through things then be weak like my Mother.
Most of you know that I have had all my kids completely natural. Not even a Tylenol to dull some of the pain. Most people would probably think I chose that because of some benefit for me or the baby or one of those many other important reasons people choose natural childbirth. But not me. When I was pregnant with Drew I chose to have no drugs solely to be different from my Mom. I wanted nothing to do with any form of pain medicine cause to me (then) that meant weakness. That meant I would be like her.
Today things are a bit different. I no longer think taking pain medicine is a sign of weakness. I gladly take some Tylenol the second a headaches come on, and while I do still choose natural childbirth, it is for very different reason. But then lately…
Lately I have been SO incredibly sick from this pregnancy. I flat out can not hold most of my food down or even function with out the medicines my Mid-wife has me on. I have taken more pills in the last month then I’ve taken in my entire life. Probably even twice as many! This has been really hard on me emotionally. I have tried twice to stop taking the meds because I want so badly not to depend on them. But a couple days of no meds and I get really sick again. So back on the meds I go struggling not to believe that it makes me weak. Its funny how things we think we’ve worked through and are over, can quickly creep back in.

***Disclaimer: I want to be clear that these are issues that I have solely with myself and I in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM believe that others who take medicines are at all weak. I specifically want to address the Natural child birth topic since I do know this can be a sensitive subject with women. I completely believe what each person chooses is a very personal choice and I would never judge what anyone else chooses for themselves.